𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃, 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃.

I am sure many of us have read Dr.Suess' book "Green Eggs and Ham" . If not, it is about Suess's character Sam-I-Am, trying to convince the narrator to try green eggs and ham. He spends most of the book, offering the unnamed character different locations and dining partners to try the "delicacy". The repetition throughout is what has me generously laugh today as an adult, and what I wish to use here today as a metaphor in my blog;

"Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am." - Dr. Suess

Is it just me or is the energy this "unnamed" character giving... "I said, what I said !"

HA! I can picture a black woman rolling her eyes, pointing her finger and snapping her neck. That is the "unnamed" character.

*whispers* Dr. Suess was just too afraid to say (LOL).

Welp, here is my ..."I SAID, WHAT I SAID" moment! I do NOT want children. I repeat, NONE! It is often asked of me when I will bear my own. You know, the good ole speech "You're getting older, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." Though the question often does not have malice behind it, I find it quite rude to ask a woman when she will bless the world with a child? There are several reasons behind my ideology;

1. You do not know if she has tried or still is trying.

2.You do not know how many miscarriages this woman may have had to bear and she does not need to be reminded of it.

3.You do not know if the woman has some form of trauma behind the idea of having children.

4. Or lastly, like me, WE JUST DON'T WANT ANY! It is that simple. Its not a crime! (Though to some it may feel like it.)

If only you could see the stares or sudden disbelief in many faces when they hear my response. Quite honestly, it's not even the hurt in their faces I become annoyed with. I am more offended at all of the unsolicited advice I receive as if (at damn near 30) I do not know what I want. Would you like to hear them? Sure you would!

"You're still young, you have time!" (I hate that one. As if I am some uneducated idiot who has never had to make life decisions for myself -rolls eyes.)

"But, why! They are a blessing!" (As if I stated "I do not want them", because they were not a blessing- rolls eyes again.)

"But think of all the women who wish they could have them and can't." (I'm sorry, as if I'll decide to have a child off of that ridiculous response (rolls eyes much harder). How is that supposed to help me change diapers or breast feed, or run errands ?

"You dont want any...like NONE?" (As if I was not clear when i said ...None. I SAID, WHAT I SAID! - rolls eyes again.)

Last but not least, "Who will take care of you when you get older?" (I hope Jesus! Always made ways before, I'm sure he will keep on... (I just gave that question the biggest side eye).

To those who do not like any of the responses above...

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

It is incensitive. I am no demon. I do not HATE their existence. Actually, I am an overprotective, over bearing , hell raising... AUNTIE! I believe I speak on behalf of many women who choose not have children of our own. Mind your DAMN BUSINESS! UGHHH, That felt so good to say. LOL. (Almost as if im yelling it from the mountain top!)

I dont mind giving my explanation in a private conversation. However, listen here, listen good... I will NOT (nor will I ever )ask for your opinion on this subject matter (No disresect, no offense.) Women, we do it all. We are beyond brilliant and brave. I wholeheartedly believe bearing a child is a beautiful thing. However, it is not for everyone. Please , stop looking at those who wish not to have them as if we have the plague.

I figured this topic can help others be more aware when asking invasive questions (Plus, its Woman's History Month. )So , I assume this topic might be helpful in general. Many Women love to say how we had to fight for so many rights, and how we are still fighting today. Well, I have the RIGHT to not want any children, without WOMEN trying to convince me otherwise. Its 2020 ! Bearing children is not all that we are capable of; PLEASE , be mindful when having the discussion . I do not wish to feel forced or coerced into having a child. If the day comes that I EVER change my mind (which is slim to none) thats my decision as well.

Until next time...

-xoxo, Kandii